Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My vagina just recognized that song.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
