A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
