Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
