erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
