Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
