are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
