true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
