I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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