I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
