remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
