It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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