it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
