My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
pray to the hookup gods
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
