you would pick up someone in the library
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
