Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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