He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize