I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
