So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
