I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
