So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
