Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
