i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize