Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Can Purell be used as lube?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
