There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
