"it" just moved
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
