I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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