Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
