Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
