All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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