I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
