Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
