People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
