I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
