My brain says no but my pants say off.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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