Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
