Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i think my tv is drunk
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
