you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
