she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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