I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
