i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
