from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
