he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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