A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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