I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
