I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
