is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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