Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
