Whatcha textin bout Willis?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
