Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
