I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
