I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
