Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I am mentally ready for anal.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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