how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
