did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
