we have officially lost it.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Is it because I queefed?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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