I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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