I wannas sexs uuuuu
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
