If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
