i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
