I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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