I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize