I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
try to milk me bitch
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
