i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
