There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
