So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I need moral support for this bender
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
