I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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