I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
