Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
