Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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