I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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