I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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