I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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